Why I hate the word “egg”

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There are some words like “moist” and “cocktail” that are quite honestly the worst things gifted to the world since sliced bread.  A new entry, for me, is the word “egg.”

It’s such a gross word to say.  Say it with me: EH-GUH.  Do you notice how your throat itself closes up behind the sound here?  As if your own body wants to suicide via suffocation because of how hideous this word is.

Then add the usual partner-in-crime word: “sack”, and the situation descends to a new circle of hell.  SACK.  Ugh.  That word immediately conjures up a writhing mass of wriggling parasite larva that are just breathlessly awaiting the moment they can erupt from their mucous shelled life.

Instead I think we should replace both words with something more pleasant like…  unicorn clover.  See?  Immediately your heart is filled with something not unlike fluid but more like pure joy and happiness.

Let’s use it in a sentence!

Person 1: Hey there, what’s that strange bump pulsating on your neck?

Person 2: Oh this old thing?  I had my doctor look at it and guess what! It’s UNICORN CLOVER!

Person 1: Wow!  *sighs*  That kind of stuff never happens to meeee.

– The End –